Showing posts with label thankful. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thankful. Show all posts
17 March 2009
"It's Been A Long Time...We Shouldn't Left You Without A Dope Beat to Step To" - Timbaland
So I guess I took a leave of absence from blogging. The last two weeks of the quarter were mad crazy! However, I think i handled them all pretty well. I think I clowned my finals even though I had them both on the same day back to back. I also found out that a whole case against me got dismissed...like just completely dismissed...which was AMAZING. Other Cool Things To Happen: I listened to The Dream's Love VS. Money and I love it...and can honestly say The Dream is one of my favorite artists...sometimes you have to see what an artists longevity is going to be because you don't want to get your hopes to be let down...but Love vs. Money is hot and getting me extra crunk for SPRRRRIIING. Which I am more than ready for. My Word of the Week will have to sum up the last two weeks a little bit more elegantly but for now this will have to do.
Peace&Much Love,
Jessalaine
17 February 2009
"Free Yourself From Mental Slavery" Bob Marley
Have you ever had one of the moments where you did something and the moment after you were just able to breathe a little better?? I just had one of the moments and it came from me deactivating my Facebook account. I feel like it was just something that honestly helped strengthen all the chains and things binding up my thoughts. I used this metaphor to describe why I wanted to remove some people from my friends list but in the end it helped me justify to myself why there was no time like the present to let go of facebook...here it is: "If a crack addict was trying to stop using crack and free themselves from their addiction, would they throw away all the drugs and disconnect from all their dealers but keep the crack pipe?" Facebook was my 'crack pipe.' It was the tool I used to feed my addiction(s) and now that I have officially thrown away my 'crack pipe' I feel like I can truly move on from everything that I was trying so hard to just keep myself and my thoughts away from.
I just think it's important that we do free ourselves from those things that just seem to engulf us..those things that we feel are, or have determined to be, negative. I am my own worst critic and you wouldn't believe the things I beat myself up over. Instead of just walking away and learning from my mistakes, I just revisit the situations in my mind and beat myself up a little better than the time before. There is no progress in that and at this point in my life I'm interested only in PROGRESS. I'm desperate to move on past undergraduate and get into the world and start putting things into motion that will help me fulfill my overall purpose on this earth. It's good that I self-evaluate but I shouldn't beat myself up. I should self-evaluate for learning purposes only because re-evaluation doesn't get you anywhere closer back to the point in time your evaluating...it doesn't get you any closer to changing what has already occurred.
When your mind is being enslaved it adds a weight that you don't need added to the load you are already carrying. You can have an open mind but if there are chains hanging from your mind, you are bound to get caught up on something. So it just holds you up as you walk along your path. It's unnecessary and once you take the action to free your mind, the effect of that freedom is almost immediate. It's literally like you can just breathe a little bit easier. I find joy knowing that I will be breathing a little bit easier tonight when I lay my head down. My Facebook just became something that I would never intended for it to be, so even though I was able to keep in touch with my close friends because I'm not a big talker on the phone, it still had parts that kept my mind stuck in the prison that I was allowing it to sit in.
I just think it was a step in a good direction. I don't miss it. I wonder if I start to but either way I know that it was definitely a step in the right direction.
Really..."FREE YOURSELF FROM MENTAL SLAVERY, NONE BUT OURSELVES CAN FREE OUR MINDS!" -BOB MARLEY ....He was really onto something...he was onto a lot of things in my opinion and you can learn more than a few truths from the man.
Peace and Much Love,
Jessalaine
I just think it's important that we do free ourselves from those things that just seem to engulf us..those things that we feel are, or have determined to be, negative. I am my own worst critic and you wouldn't believe the things I beat myself up over. Instead of just walking away and learning from my mistakes, I just revisit the situations in my mind and beat myself up a little better than the time before. There is no progress in that and at this point in my life I'm interested only in PROGRESS. I'm desperate to move on past undergraduate and get into the world and start putting things into motion that will help me fulfill my overall purpose on this earth. It's good that I self-evaluate but I shouldn't beat myself up. I should self-evaluate for learning purposes only because re-evaluation doesn't get you anywhere closer back to the point in time your evaluating...it doesn't get you any closer to changing what has already occurred.
When your mind is being enslaved it adds a weight that you don't need added to the load you are already carrying. You can have an open mind but if there are chains hanging from your mind, you are bound to get caught up on something. So it just holds you up as you walk along your path. It's unnecessary and once you take the action to free your mind, the effect of that freedom is almost immediate. It's literally like you can just breathe a little bit easier. I find joy knowing that I will be breathing a little bit easier tonight when I lay my head down. My Facebook just became something that I would never intended for it to be, so even though I was able to keep in touch with my close friends because I'm not a big talker on the phone, it still had parts that kept my mind stuck in the prison that I was allowing it to sit in.
I just think it was a step in a good direction. I don't miss it. I wonder if I start to but either way I know that it was definitely a step in the right direction.
Really..."FREE YOURSELF FROM MENTAL SLAVERY, NONE BUT OURSELVES CAN FREE OUR MINDS!" -BOB MARLEY ....He was really onto something...he was onto a lot of things in my opinion and you can learn more than a few truths from the man.
Peace and Much Love,
Jessalaine
27 January 2009
Hope Floats, Faith Grows
Life is truly like a Slide Show. (INSERT "T.I ft. John Legend - Slide Show" HERE) Lately I've just started thinking about EVERYTHING I experienced in the past year. Sometimes it just straight up exhausts my mind because in some situations I'm STILL trying to figure out where these experiences have left me. I've been able to recognize some if not all lessons that maybe I was supposed to take out of those experiences. Which is great because it's like I see a tell all snapshot of my 'self' and I'm able to acknowledge what I should change and what I should do the same if there is anything. Because of the lessons I'm grateful beyond words for all the experiences. However, I think it is safe to say that some things from the experiences still HAUNT me. And all I want is to get the conclusion that I need to no longer be haunted.
I will say that I am optimistic that my deliverance will come...that I will get the conclusions I seek and that I will be better off...I'm not scared of what the conclusions may bring, just more anxious to reach those conclusions.
Everyday my faith grows. And because of the way life treats me, its so hard for me understand how people go through everyday without any kind of faith. I couldn't make it without my faith and I try and feed my faith whenever possible...so that it will grow, so that it will be more than enough to get me through whatever situation I may face.
More than ever, I get what they mean by hope floating. I always considered myself a hopeful person...hopelessly hopeful for that matter. In two situations that I carried around on my heart for the longest, I eventually lost the hope...buried the hope even. I just figured each one was beyond repair. It's like I got to the point that I felt that things could never be restored to the way that they were or the way they should be...so why not just 'blow it all up.' I think that would have worked if I didn't care so effin much for the people involved in each situation. So because I never stopped caring for them...it's like when I got back to Columbus...the scene of the crimes...eventually the hope started to creep back up to the surface. So many people, places, and things take me back to the better times I experienced with them and so it's like now more than ever...in my heart I really want the record just to be set straight. I'm not sitting here thinking that the relationships I shared with these folks will be restored...but I do think that they can have the conclusions that they need and these folks can know that I see and understand everything that I did wrong, the things that I did that probably hurt them and how truly sorry I am for that....because hurting them was the last thing that I wanted to do. I always had good intentions...I just made bad decisions and didn't pay enough attention to maybe how my decisions would be perceived and absorbed by them. Like I said, as I sit here and write this I'm not thinking that everything will be restored to the ways that they were...but I do have hope that it will make things better...for me, for them...hopefully.
All of this weighs on my heart on top of the other things that my heart deals with daily. How do I get through it? I honestly just believe CONFIDENTLY that God didn't bring me THIS FAR to leave me...and everything I went through and that I'm going through is only happening because He said so. Everyday my faith grows, everyday I see my hope float.
Peace&MuchLove
Jessalaine
I will say that I am optimistic that my deliverance will come...that I will get the conclusions I seek and that I will be better off...I'm not scared of what the conclusions may bring, just more anxious to reach those conclusions.
Everyday my faith grows. And because of the way life treats me, its so hard for me understand how people go through everyday without any kind of faith. I couldn't make it without my faith and I try and feed my faith whenever possible...so that it will grow, so that it will be more than enough to get me through whatever situation I may face.
More than ever, I get what they mean by hope floating. I always considered myself a hopeful person...hopelessly hopeful for that matter. In two situations that I carried around on my heart for the longest, I eventually lost the hope...buried the hope even. I just figured each one was beyond repair. It's like I got to the point that I felt that things could never be restored to the way that they were or the way they should be...so why not just 'blow it all up.' I think that would have worked if I didn't care so effin much for the people involved in each situation. So because I never stopped caring for them...it's like when I got back to Columbus...the scene of the crimes...eventually the hope started to creep back up to the surface. So many people, places, and things take me back to the better times I experienced with them and so it's like now more than ever...in my heart I really want the record just to be set straight. I'm not sitting here thinking that the relationships I shared with these folks will be restored...but I do think that they can have the conclusions that they need and these folks can know that I see and understand everything that I did wrong, the things that I did that probably hurt them and how truly sorry I am for that....because hurting them was the last thing that I wanted to do. I always had good intentions...I just made bad decisions and didn't pay enough attention to maybe how my decisions would be perceived and absorbed by them. Like I said, as I sit here and write this I'm not thinking that everything will be restored to the ways that they were...but I do have hope that it will make things better...for me, for them...hopefully.
All of this weighs on my heart on top of the other things that my heart deals with daily. How do I get through it? I honestly just believe CONFIDENTLY that God didn't bring me THIS FAR to leave me...and everything I went through and that I'm going through is only happening because He said so. Everyday my faith grows, everyday I see my hope float.
Peace&MuchLove
Jessalaine
26 November 2008
Be THANKFUL for the Life You Have!
So I'm sitting here bored at work doing nothing...wishing that time would do a line of coke and speed the Heck up! (Sidenote: Don't do DRUGS!, crack is whack, coke is a joke...I prefer to Live Above the Infuence, lol and that's all that I advocate.) Even though I get off at noon today I still wish that time would progress as smoothly as it does on the days that I feel all bogged down but whatever, it's all good, sitting here made me start thinking about this upcoming trip to Detroit my familia is taking for Thanksgiving and it made me think of Thanksgiving and what I'm thankful for and about the holidays and how the holidays are always like times of reflection for people, at least to those that reflect. (I'm so not going to assume that everyone 'reflects' because my experience has shown me that some do not evaluate or self-evaluate, that's another post for real.) I just started thinking about all the things I'm grateful for and some of the things that popped in my head were just hilarious, so I decided to come here and list them...I mean it's not like I have anything bettter to do, lol.
I'M THANKFUL FOR.... (in no particular order):
-Fingernail polish. Painting my nails grew to be a very calming, therapuetic occasion in my life. It helped to reduce the nail biting (though I do enjoy chipping the nail polish off when it's at the end of it's run) and it was fun to watch the nails grow. Progress in a beautiful cool form. If it weren't for all the cool fingernail polishes I was able to find, I wouldn't have been able to enjoy taking moments to myself and painting my nails. So yes, I really am thankful for nail polish, it makes me happy.
-My Goodness, My Family. I loooooove my family. They all crack me up like no one can, love me like only they can, and support me in a way that is incomparable to the other support I receive in my life (except G-O-D's of course). I'm thankful for that foundation. This includes my ENTIRE family, not just the immediate
-The World Wide Web. Without it, I would be sitting here staring at wooden panel walls and pictures of people that look like they could be fake. The internet is cool, you can find out so much.
-Nature, oh sweet Nature. I'm thankful for nature, not so much the outdoors part of it all (meaning less than desirable weather conditions, bugs, birds, etc), but definitely the NATURAL part of it all. This Earth grows so much Great stuff that really shows us that God really wants us to be happy ;)
-My Homies. I'm so thankful for the friends that I rank as HOMIES. No need to list them, because those that are homies have no question about their status w/ me. I love the laughs, the good times, the memories, the support! Homies are the Family I choose.
-Music, duh. Of course. Music gets me through many many many many situations. Work, stress, workouts, walking, drifting, all sorts of moments are made so much better with music. I love my Music like it's MY Music...Music is Fun, it can be real, I just love it, always seems to make me want to dance, even if it is a two step....lol. Plus without music, there would be no concerts, which I love.
-Facebook. I really do have a love/hate relationship with Facebook but overall it never fails in giving me that Good Laugh when I least expect it. Fbook can be downright annoying sometimes but honestly sometimes it's just the click of a button, and the reading of a few words, and it's like I'll literally laugh out loud. Facebook is great.
-Carmex. It really is my best friend throughout winter. Without it my lips tend to hurt really bad.
-Boys, in general. You bring the entertainment, the comedy to my life. They usually always crack me up. Whether I'm laughing with them or at them it's always a good time. Either way they usually bring a smile to my face, so I'm thankful.
-Sidekicks. Sidekicks are cool, I really do love my Sidekick I can do quite a bit with it, though it doesn't have a touch screen, it is efficient (when the network isn't messing up) and I like that. I love texting, and this phone is clutch for that.
-Colors. I really like them, I think they're cool especially when they are organized on to items in an eye-catching fashionable manner. I just like colors. My family tells me I'm colorful...because I like color so much and I chose to express it in my dress, accessories, and nail polish :)
-Blankets. Because I'm quite sure it's impossible for me to sleep without one. Even if I get hot, I get from under it, but keep it close.
-Faith & Hope. Without those two things I don't think I would have made it through this year. I found them to be the answers to my most troublesome questions.
-Chuck Taylors. I think they're cool, and they come in cool colors and designs sometimes.
-Skinny Jeans. Because they're hot, and they help show off my za-pa-tos (spoken how it's seen, but the word is zapatos, or shoes in english) Plus I spent majority of my life dedicated to the flare jean so it's time I let another style shine.
-My Lost Ones. To the friends I 'lost' (Lost as in gone forever or that may prove to be just lost for awhile...only time will tell) I truly am thankful because each one's journey through my life taught me so much about this life and myself and I can't see how I would have gotten to the really good place I'm at right now had I not had each experience. I am just thankful and I' happy and I wish everyone of the 'ones' the best for real.
-My J-O-B. Only because I'm chasing that paper though. Stack That Cheese.
-My future. Because like I said to my G.I.G back when we were graduating (Class of '05 stand up) "Our Future's So Bright, We Just Gotta Wear Shades!" the statement still holds true today.
-Turtles. Because they're cool and they gave me a great tattoo idea that I finally went and got.
-Auto-tone. Lol because it helped give us 808's and Heartbreak...and Chopped and Screwed ft. Ludacris. I'm being silly......but for real..lol
-The Creator. Because his Master Plan is so darn good that it is responsible for everything we see in front of us and everything that will be.
-Of Course Barack and Michelle Obama. They're doing what many thought impossible not so many years ago ("I know it seems heaven sent/we ain't ready to see a Black President" -Tupac) They are redifining a culture and a society's overall predetermined expectations for a people. I love it and God Bless the President Elect of the United States of America, Barack Obama.
-Indiana. Even though it was split down the middle thank you for going Blue. I'm proud to be a Hoosier, knowing that all ya'll aren't that bad and for refuting the long held belief that I and other people have held about you all being low key racist. <--JOKE. Kind of. LoL
-The Thanksgiving Holiday. Because that means I don't have to see the faces of the people I work with for a full four days. Wowser. Now that is something to shout about
-Casual Fridays. It makes things a little bit easier in my mind when I can wear my chucks and hoodie into work, because they don't think the heat should be turned on for some reason.
-My mind. Thought it gets sidetracked often, and my memory is not what it used to be. I
m thankful for my logic, as I've stated before, "I'm just married to my logic..." and honestly I don't see a divorce coming anytime soon. At least until I find something better.
That's bout all I got for now...who knows I may update more throughout the day, who knows. Haha that's another thing I'm grateful for, FREE WILL.
PEAAAACCCEE and MUCH LOVE, and Happy Thanksgiving - spend time with ur Loved Ones,
JessalaineJessalaine
I'M THANKFUL FOR.... (in no particular order):
-Fingernail polish. Painting my nails grew to be a very calming, therapuetic occasion in my life. It helped to reduce the nail biting (though I do enjoy chipping the nail polish off when it's at the end of it's run) and it was fun to watch the nails grow. Progress in a beautiful cool form. If it weren't for all the cool fingernail polishes I was able to find, I wouldn't have been able to enjoy taking moments to myself and painting my nails. So yes, I really am thankful for nail polish, it makes me happy.
-My Goodness, My Family. I loooooove my family. They all crack me up like no one can, love me like only they can, and support me in a way that is incomparable to the other support I receive in my life (except G-O-D's of course). I'm thankful for that foundation. This includes my ENTIRE family, not just the immediate
-The World Wide Web. Without it, I would be sitting here staring at wooden panel walls and pictures of people that look like they could be fake. The internet is cool, you can find out so much.
-Nature, oh sweet Nature. I'm thankful for nature, not so much the outdoors part of it all (meaning less than desirable weather conditions, bugs, birds, etc), but definitely the NATURAL part of it all. This Earth grows so much Great stuff that really shows us that God really wants us to be happy ;)
-My Homies. I'm so thankful for the friends that I rank as HOMIES. No need to list them, because those that are homies have no question about their status w/ me. I love the laughs, the good times, the memories, the support! Homies are the Family I choose.
-Music, duh. Of course. Music gets me through many many many many situations. Work, stress, workouts, walking, drifting, all sorts of moments are made so much better with music. I love my Music like it's MY Music...Music is Fun, it can be real, I just love it, always seems to make me want to dance, even if it is a two step....lol. Plus without music, there would be no concerts, which I love.
-Facebook. I really do have a love/hate relationship with Facebook but overall it never fails in giving me that Good Laugh when I least expect it. Fbook can be downright annoying sometimes but honestly sometimes it's just the click of a button, and the reading of a few words, and it's like I'll literally laugh out loud. Facebook is great.
-Carmex. It really is my best friend throughout winter. Without it my lips tend to hurt really bad.
-Boys, in general. You bring the entertainment, the comedy to my life. They usually always crack me up. Whether I'm laughing with them or at them it's always a good time. Either way they usually bring a smile to my face, so I'm thankful.
-Sidekicks. Sidekicks are cool, I really do love my Sidekick I can do quite a bit with it, though it doesn't have a touch screen, it is efficient (when the network isn't messing up) and I like that. I love texting, and this phone is clutch for that.
-Colors. I really like them, I think they're cool especially when they are organized on to items in an eye-catching fashionable manner. I just like colors. My family tells me I'm colorful...because I like color so much and I chose to express it in my dress, accessories, and nail polish :)
-Blankets. Because I'm quite sure it's impossible for me to sleep without one. Even if I get hot, I get from under it, but keep it close.
-Faith & Hope. Without those two things I don't think I would have made it through this year. I found them to be the answers to my most troublesome questions.
-Chuck Taylors. I think they're cool, and they come in cool colors and designs sometimes.
-Skinny Jeans. Because they're hot, and they help show off my za-pa-tos (spoken how it's seen, but the word is zapatos, or shoes in english) Plus I spent majority of my life dedicated to the flare jean so it's time I let another style shine.
-My Lost Ones. To the friends I 'lost' (Lost as in gone forever or that may prove to be just lost for awhile...only time will tell) I truly am thankful because each one's journey through my life taught me so much about this life and myself and I can't see how I would have gotten to the really good place I'm at right now had I not had each experience. I am just thankful and I' happy and I wish everyone of the 'ones' the best for real.
-My J-O-B. Only because I'm chasing that paper though. Stack That Cheese.
-My future. Because like I said to my G.I.G back when we were graduating (Class of '05 stand up) "Our Future's So Bright, We Just Gotta Wear Shades!" the statement still holds true today.
-Turtles. Because they're cool and they gave me a great tattoo idea that I finally went and got.
-Auto-tone. Lol because it helped give us 808's and Heartbreak...and Chopped and Screwed ft. Ludacris. I'm being silly......but for real..lol
-The Creator. Because his Master Plan is so darn good that it is responsible for everything we see in front of us and everything that will be.
-Of Course Barack and Michelle Obama. They're doing what many thought impossible not so many years ago ("I know it seems heaven sent/we ain't ready to see a Black President" -Tupac) They are redifining a culture and a society's overall predetermined expectations for a people. I love it and God Bless the President Elect of the United States of America, Barack Obama.
-Indiana. Even though it was split down the middle thank you for going Blue. I'm proud to be a Hoosier, knowing that all ya'll aren't that bad and for refuting the long held belief that I and other people have held about you all being low key racist. <--JOKE. Kind of. LoL
-The Thanksgiving Holiday. Because that means I don't have to see the faces of the people I work with for a full four days. Wowser. Now that is something to shout about
-Casual Fridays. It makes things a little bit easier in my mind when I can wear my chucks and hoodie into work, because they don't think the heat should be turned on for some reason.
-My mind. Thought it gets sidetracked often, and my memory is not what it used to be. I
m thankful for my logic, as I've stated before, "I'm just married to my logic..." and honestly I don't see a divorce coming anytime soon. At least until I find something better.
That's bout all I got for now...who knows I may update more throughout the day, who knows. Haha that's another thing I'm grateful for, FREE WILL.
PEAAAACCCEE and MUCH LOVE, and Happy Thanksgiving - spend time with ur Loved Ones,
JessalaineJessalaine
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