Insure your Destiny

1. Watch your complaining.

2. Watch your connections.

3. Watch your confessions.

WOWSER

"Security and time are the sexiest things that you can give to a woman." -Kanye West


http://bossip.com/76535/exclusive-pt-1-kanye-religion-is-like-branding/#more-76535

Hope Floats, Faith Grows

Life is truly like a Slide Show. (INSERT "T.I ft. John Legend - Slide Show" HERE) Lately I've just started thinking about EVERYTHING I experienced in the past year. Sometimes it just straight up exhausts my mind because in some situations I'm STILL trying to figure out where these experiences have left me. I've been able to recognize some if not all lessons that maybe I was supposed to take out of those experiences. Which is great because it's like I see a tell all snapshot of my 'self' and I'm able to acknowledge what I should change and what I should do the same if there is anything. Because of the lessons I'm grateful beyond words for all the experiences. However, I think it is safe to say that some things from the experiences still HAUNT me. And all I want is to get the conclusion that I need to no longer be haunted.

I will say that I am optimistic that my deliverance will come...that I will get the conclusions I seek and that I will be better off...I'm not scared of what the conclusions may bring, just more anxious to reach those conclusions.

Everyday my faith grows. And because of the way life treats me, its so hard for me understand how people go through everyday without any kind of faith. I couldn't make it without my faith and I try and feed my faith whenever possible...so that it will grow, so that it will be more than enough to get me through whatever situation I may face.

More than ever, I get what they mean by hope floating. I always considered myself a hopeful person...hopelessly hopeful for that matter. In two situations that I carried around on my heart for the longest, I eventually lost the hope...buried the hope even. I just figured each one was beyond repair. It's like I got to the point that I felt that things could never be restored to the way that they were or the way they should be...so why not just 'blow it all up.' I think that would have worked if I didn't care so effin much for the people involved in each situation. So because I never stopped caring for them...it's like when I got back to Columbus...the scene of the crimes...eventually the hope started to creep back up to the surface. So many people, places, and things take me back to the better times I experienced with them and so it's like now more than ever...in my heart I really want the record just to be set straight. I'm not sitting here thinking that the relationships I shared with these folks will be restored...but I do think that they can have the conclusions that they need and these folks can know that I see and understand everything that I did wrong, the things that I did that probably hurt them and how truly sorry I am for that....because hurting them was the last thing that I wanted to do. I always had good intentions...I just made bad decisions and didn't pay enough attention to maybe how my decisions would be perceived and absorbed by them. Like I said, as I sit here and write this I'm not thinking that everything will be restored to the ways that they were...but I do have hope that it will make things better...for me, for them...hopefully.

All of this weighs on my heart on top of the other things that my heart deals with daily. How do I get through it? I honestly just believe CONFIDENTLY that God didn't bring me THIS FAR to leave me...and everything I went through and that I'm going through is only happening because He said so. Everyday my faith grows, everyday I see my hope float.

Peace&MuchLove
Jessalaine

Jess-E f. BABY :) Please say the baby :)

This is my new BFF, BABY. She is an American Pit Bull Terrier...and I think she is beautiful...and from what I've seen so far...lots of other people think she's cute too. She was ten weeks when I got her, and took this picture. Didn't know what I was going to call her for a minute, then I just kicked it with her and told her, "well I guess it's me and you baby..." then I got the clever idea to just name her Baby. You know like 'Weezy f. Baby' well with me and her its 'Jess E. f. Baby' and I think she likes her name a lot. She's smart and bitchy...but she loves me and knows I'm the "HBIC" and we get along pretty well. She's also a cuddler, which I love...I just wonder how it's going to work out once she gets full size...

I promise to keep the posts where I'm just writing about 'the cute thing that baby did.." to a minimum.

All I know is I love this bia a lot...she gives me super company...and she loooveees me back! BFF!


This is usually the face I wake up to every morning. Beautiful.


Sidenote: Nurture trumps nature. And pit bulls don't have an aggressive nature. They are people pleasers and respond to humans actions/emotions.

so triflin...

i feel really triflin for letting my blog be idle for so long.....for kinda good reason tho...i feel like i've been here, there, nowhere, and everywhere...all in the last month!!! so much has happened and while i could just right one long post on all that ish...it will be a lot more fun if i just let it roll out i guess over the course of this blaaahhg...

n e who....

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! i'm definitely excited for the '09...so far it's been pretty cool.